


Everything is fine.

by LampPostInWinter



Series: Eye of the Beholder. [3]
Category: Welcome to Night Vale
Genre: Agoraphobia, Anxiety Attacks, Depression, Gen, Rape Aftermath
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-05
Updated: 2015-05-05
Packaged: 2018-03-29 05:37:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 875
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3884392
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LampPostInWinter/pseuds/LampPostInWinter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is Kevin dealing with what happened in Desert Buffs. The third part to Eye of the beholder.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Everything is fine.

**Author's Note:**

> This one was hard to write. I struggled with the ending. I wasn't sure if I should kill him or not. I guess I should add that I don't own any of these charters.

Earl refused to help, he said that Kevin should just speak to his double and tell him what was doing on. Kevin didn't want to be a bother, he had already caused enough trouble for Cecil, he didn't need to be the root of more distress in his life. Not that the man had been too worried, if he had Kevin would have been found and taken home sooner. No, the only thing that Cecil cared about was himself... And Carlos. He hadn't asked him how he was doing or spent too much time with him as he recovered from his infection. He had defaulted to letting the scientist ask most of the questions. Kevin knew that if he stayed here any longer he would drive himself insane. He needed to feel whole again, with everything that had happened with Diego he knew that could never happen while he was living here. That was why he had decided to leave, that was why he'd asked Earl for help, since he had left Desert Bluffs and been living with Cecil he had no access to any money he had made working for their station. Not that he had made much there, it would have just been enough to get him out of town, somewhere where people wouldn't look at him like he was some broken thing that needed to be treated with special care. He could handle the indifference or the pitiful looks, but it seemed like he disgusted those around him. Like they all knew the things the man he had considered his closest friend at one time had done to him. How he had made him feel, knowing that he had been with Cecil, he threatened his double's life. That had been one thing that had kept him from fighting for a while. How much he cared for his other over his own life. He had sometimes wished, over the last few weeks, that they had left him there. In his own sick way Diego loved him and that was something he had never had. He could have that, the kind of love that Cecil had for Carlos, he wanted that. But he wasn't going to get that here, it was what had gotten them all into the mess in the first place. If he had not gone on and on about saving to buy love since he had met Cecil, it never would have made Diego jealous. He would still be reporting the news, he wouldn't need to feel anything at all. 

He would take false happiness over the daunting emptiness that he felt inside right now. Like there was something stolen from him, a place that needed filled. He couldn't begin to dream of how he was going to fill that space. He almost wished that he didn't survive the ordeal. How could they all expect him to move on like nothing had happened, like a few short weeks ago he hadn't been strapped to a table, branded and broken? Sure Carlos was always asking after his health, asking if he were still having any pain. The pain he was experiencing was exponentially worse than any psychical wound he could have received. 

After about a month he had started to experience panic attacks, at first they would be so spread out he was able to cry off to a bathroom or out behind the lab before breaking down. He was sure the scientists at least were becoming suspicious of his actions. Then it became harder, they became more frequent. As soon as he would step into the small room they shared for the show it seemed like the room would close in. His vision would blur and he would need to take a moment to sit, and calm himself. 

Soon he was finding ways to excuse himself from the show altogether, explaining that he was in pain or he wasn't feeling well. Some days he would not get out of bed at all. Cecil started asking questions but he would deflect them and change the subject. Somehow getting the other host to go off on a tangent and forgetting his inability to leave the house. When he did leave it felt like his whole world was crashing down around him, like he was drowning and there was no chance of getting his head above the water. 

It had been six months. He didn't leave the house anymore, he only got out of bed to use the bathroom, bathe, and eat. He refused to talk to anyone, when he wouldn't speak with Carlos or Cecil they sent in Earl. He knew what was wrong. The man could have helped him, but he didn't want to do anything that could hurt the man he loved. Earl had told him he felt guilty for not speaking up, for letting it get this far. He didn't care, he just wanted to go to sleep, he would feel better in the morning. Everything would be fine in the morning. That's what he kept telling himself, day in and day out. Everything would be fine, he could do this on his own. He was strong, he would go into the studio tomorrow and the show would go on.


End file.
